Truth or Dare
by Alexi Lupin
Summary: The Fellowship are playing Truth or Dare and a few secrets come out! Warnings: SLASH. Go on, no one's looking! RR


Truth or Dare  
  
A/N: This is my first LOTR fic, so please, have mercy. Scroll to the bottom to find the meanings of the Elvish bits. R/E/R (Read, Enjoy, Review)  
  
Disclaimer: Well, the characters aren't mine, but the plot is mine...my own...my Precious...Whoops!  
  
Warnings: Slash (Go on, no one's looking!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well, this is boring, thought Pippin, staring blankly into the campfire. He and the rest of the Fellowship were waiting for Gandalf to return. He had gone for a walk a couple of hours ago, but no-one seemed concerned, so Pippin figured there was nothing to worry about. If only there was some way to pass the time! A game, perhaps...Not a word game, he thought, No-one seems in the mood for that. Maybe something to get to know each other better... Truth or Dare! That always gets people laughing!  
  
He nudged Merry.  
  
"Merry. What d'you reckon, we get a game of Truth or Dare going?"  
  
"Oh! Good idea!" Merry replied enthusiastically. "That ought to liven things up a bit! Everyone's so serious all the time!"  
  
Legolas's ears twitched. Pippin was sure he had heard. Legolas heard everything.  
  
"Hey! Everyone!" said Pippin, to the group at large, "Who wants to play Truth or Dare?"  
  
"What in the name of Valinor is Truth or Dare?" asked Legolas, looking up from the Elven dagger he was sharpening, a look of puzzlement on his face.  
  
"A game," said Aragorn. "You pick truth or dare and you have to either, depending on what you picked, answer any question truthfully, or do a dare."  
  
"You mean, in all your three thousand years you've never played Truth or Dare, Legolas?" said Gimli incredulously.  
  
"Have YOU?"  
  
Gimli shifted uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
"We're not talking about me here...Besides, I'm not half as old as you are."  
  
"You're not half as tall as him either!" said Frodo, smirking.  
  
"So! Is everyone playing?" said Gimli, clapping his hands together loudly and ignoring Frodo.  
  
There was a murmur of assent around the campfire.  
  
"Excellent!" said Gimli, apparently satisfied that he had changed the subject successfully. "Who starts? Boromir?"  
  
"Okay...er...Legolas!" said Boromir, a smile creeping across his face. "Truth or Dare?"  
  
"Truth."  
  
"How often do you comb your hair?"  
  
Aragorn burst into quiet giggles, but after a stern glance from Legolas, managed to turn it into a rather unconvincing cough. He caught Gimli's eye and winked.  
  
"As often as it needs." said Legolas composedly, as Aragorn and Gimli grasped each other's shoulders for support, heaving with suppressed laughter.  
  
"Yes," said Boromir. "But how often is that? We need a number!"  
  
"Fourorfivetimesaday." Legolas muttered.  
  
"Sorry?" said Sam. "Couldn't hear you over here!"  
  
"Four or five times a day I said! Hair this perfect doesn't come easy you know! See the way it shines? That takes a very precise combing action--"  
  
At this, Aragorn and Gimli burst out laughing, and everyone else tried to hide their broad grins behind their hands.  
  
Legolas's lips were so tightly crammed together it seemed as though what dignity he had left was trying to escape through his mouth.  
  
"Your turn to ask someone," said Boromir, his voice quivering with the effort of not laughing.  
  
"Okay, I'll ask...Oh stop laughing! It's not that funny!"  
  
"So—sor—sorry!" choked Aragorn. "You're right, it's not funny." He stopped laughing, but after a moment, burst into renewed giggles.  
  
"Okay, Lord Laughalot, I'll ask you!"  
  
"Truth."  
  
"When was the last time you washed YOUR hair?" Legolas said with satisfaction.  
  
"Um...hmm..." said Aragorn, thinking. "Wasn't too long ago, maybe two or three weeks?"  
  
"Two or three WEEKS?!" Legolas said, shocked.  
  
"What?" Aragorn asked defensively.  
  
"How can you stand to have it that dirty?" asked Legolas.  
  
"Yeah, Strider! How?" said Sam.  
  
"Two or three weeks? Strider, that's disgusting, man!" exclaimed Frodo.  
  
"It's not even like you have much hair to worry about," said Gimli. "Not like me. Can you imagine the hassle it is to properly wash this?" he pointed to his beard.  
  
"All right! I've got the point!" Aragorn said, holding his hands up in defeat. "If I go wash my hair now, will you all kindly shut up?"  
  
Everyone nodded.  
  
"Okay. Back in a minute."  
  
Aragorn grabbed a jug from beside the fire and headed towards a nearby creek.  
  
"Don't know how he thinks he can get all the crap out of his hair in a minute," said Merry, watching Aragorn's retreating back, "It'll take longer than that."  
  
Everyone looked at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing.  
  
"I heard that!" Aragorn called back.  
  
After four minutes of splashing sounds, Aragorn sat back down, his hair dripping, but considerably cleaner.  
  
"Right. It's my turn to ask, is it not?"  
  
"Yup." said Boromir.  
  
"Alrighty...Pippin! Truth or Dare?" said Aragorn.  
  
"Truth."  
  
"What say we just do Truths, since no-one can be bothered to do Dares?" Aragorn suggested.  
  
There were murmurs of agreement all round.  
  
"Good." Aragorn said. "Pippin...Have you ever considered shoes?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Have you ever considered wearing shoes?" Aragorn clarified.  
  
"No way, José!" cried Pippin. "Feet are what attracts the ladies! The hairier the better!"  
  
"We shaved a smiley face into Frodo's feet once!" Merry said, nudging Pippin. "Remember that?"  
  
"Don't remind me!" said Frodo, his face in his hands.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Pippin said. "People were looking at him weird for ages!"  
  
"That was really mean, guys, especially before Mr. Frodo's date with Lavender Rivers!" Sam said.  
  
"Thank you, Sam. At least I've got ONE friend I can COMPLETELY trust!" Frodo said, looking pointedly at Merry and Pippin, who were trying to contain their laughter.  
  
"How did it go?" Boromir asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"The date." Boromir clarified. "How did it go?"  
  
"Terribly." Frodo said, grimacing at the memory.  
  
"She poured Maple Syrup in his hair!" Merry informed the group.  
  
"Maple Syrup?" asked Aragorn incredulously. "How did you manage to get that out?"  
  
"I washed my hair." Frodo said shortly. He looked pointedly at Aragorn.  
  
"Yes, yes, I've got the point, everyone!" Aragorn said. "Pippin, it's your turn to ask someone."  
  
"Frodo." Pippin said, still smiling. "If you could do anything to Sauron, except killing or imprisoning him, what would it be?"  
  
"Cut off his balls." said Frodo without hesitation.  
  
"With what?" said Boromir interestedly.  
  
"Er...I dunno actually."  
  
"A sword," Aragorn suggested.  
  
"An axe!" Gimli said.  
  
"A scythe!" said Sam with relish.  
  
Everyone burst out laughing.  
  
"Speaking of dating problems," said Gimli, once everyone had calmed down, "I bet you don't have trouble with the ladies, Aragorn. You're the rightful King of Gondor, possibly Middle-Earth's most eligible bachelor! The women must fall all over themselves to go out with you!"  
  
"Yeah...yeah, I suppose they do," said Aragorn thoughtfully.  
  
"What? You've not noticed?" said Boromir incredulously.  
  
"Well..." began Aragorn. "To tell you the truth, guys...my door doesn't swing that way."  
  
There was a short silence at this, broken by Legolas.  
  
"Nor does mine. I mean, there are how many more male elves than female ones? It's just easier this way, isn't it?"  
  
"I agree," said Frodo.  
  
"Me too." Sam said.  
  
"Me three!" Pippin agreed.  
  
"Me four!" Merry added.  
  
"Indeed." said Boromir.  
  
Everyone looked at Gimli.  
  
"Oh great. Everyone's gay except me. How wonderful." Gimli said, crossing his arms and pouting.  
  
"There, there, Gimli," said Aragorn, patting him on the back.  
  
Gimli edged away slightly.  
  
"Strider! My turn, I'm asking you!" said Frodo. "Since you've got all these different names...how many?"  
  
"I don't know, actually..." Aragorn trailed off looking thoughtful.  
  
"Well there's Strider," said Frodo counting on his fingers, "Aragorn, obviously, the Dúnadan, Thorongil, Wingfoot..."  
  
"Estel," said Legolas.  
  
"That's six," Frodo said. "Are there any more?"  
  
"I think so," said Aragorn. "I just can't think of them at the moment..."  
  
"Anyway, my question is," continued Frodo, "Well, it's not so much a question as a request...kind of...er...yeah. How about I ask, then you'll get what I mean. Could you think of names for all of us? I've always thought it would be cool to have different names! Everyone can think of their own, and Aragorn can help!"  
  
"You're right, that isn't a question, but it isn't quite a request." Aragorn said. "But okay, shall we give it a go?"  
  
"I know what it is! said Gimli.  
  
"What?" Sam said.  
  
"A requestion!" Gimli said, looking pleased with himself.  
  
Everyone groaned.  
  
"Oh! Mine should be--" Boromir paused for effect, "Boromir the Bold!"  
  
"That's not a new name!" pointed out Sam.  
  
"Yeah!" said Merry and Pippin in unison.  
  
"I've got one for you, Boromir." Aragorn said. "Hornblower."  
  
Boromir considered it.  
  
"Okay. What about the Hobbits?"  
  
"Yeah!" piped up Pippin. "What about us?"  
  
"You can be Edroanto!" said Aragorn, and he and Legolas burst out laughing. Everyone else looked puzzled.  
  
"Eddie for short." said Legolas once he had calmed down.  
  
"And what does that mean?" said Pippin suspiciously.  
  
Everyone except Aragorn and Legolas shrugged.  
  
"Come on guys! What does it mean?"  
  
"Open mouth." Said Aragorn.  
  
Everyone except Pippin burst out laughing. Pippin tried to look affronted, but couldn't quite pull it off, so collapsed into laughter with the rest.  
  
"What about Legolas?" Frodo said. "What about him, eh?"  
  
"There's really only one other thing I'd like to call Legolas," said Aragorn, suddenly very serious. "And if I did, he'd probably never speak to me again."  
  
"I would never do anything like that!" Legolas said firmly. "Nothing could stand in the way of our friendship, Aragorn! Remember that, mellon nîn."  
  
"Okay...If I could call you anything, it would be..." Aragorn paused, unsure.  
  
"Go on." Said Legolas, putting his hand on Aragorn's knee to offer support.  
  
"It would be..." Aragorn looked directly into Legolas's silver-blue eyes. "Melethron-nîn."  
  
Legolas gasped. Everyone else looked puzzled.  
  
"Aragorn...I...I had no idea..." Legolas managed to say.  
  
"What's that mean?" Pippin hissed to Merry.  
  
"How should I know?" Merry whispered back.  
  
"I should have told you...but I could never find the right moment...I'm sorry..." Aragorn continued, looking at his feet.  
  
"Don't be." Legolas said softly.  
  
He reached out with one hand and tilted Aragorn's chin upward. Everyone stared as he slowly lowered his lips onto Aragorn's, in a sweet kiss. Aragorn slipped an arm around Legolas's slight frame and pulled him closer, kissing him passionately. Gimli's eyes seemed ready to pop out of his head.  
  
"Well," Frodo said weakly. "That was unexpected."  
  
Everyone nodded dumbly, still staring.  
  
Aragorn and Legolas deepened their kiss. Legolas's long, nimble fingers found the knots on Aragorn's shirt and made quick work of them. They were so consumed in each other they fell off the log they had been sitting on, but showed no signs of stopping.  
  
"So..." said Pippin slowly. "I suppose they're not playing anymore?"  
  
"Apparently not." said Merry shortly.  
  
"You know..." began Pippin, as Aragorn and Legolas kissed frantically, "They are quite...inspiring."  
  
Merry looked at Pippin.  
  
Pippin looked at Merry. Their lips crashed together.  
  
"Well, Sam," Frodo said, "This day has been full of surprises!"  
  
"Certainly has," Sam said.  
  
Frodo looked inquiringly at Sam.  
  
Sam shrugged.  
  
"What the heck." He said.  
  
The two hobbits fell into each other's arms, kissing madly.  
  
"Well," said Boromir, "Just us then, eh Gimli?"  
  
"Seems that way." Gimli said evenly.  
  
Boromir's hand inched towards Gimli's thigh.  
  
"One more move, laddie, and I'll introduce my axe to your balls!"  
  
"C'mon, Gimli, loosen up!" Boromir said, "I bet you're really tense. Let me give you a massage."  
  
"Oh no you don't! I'm tense, and that's the way I like it!"  
  
"Oh come on, you'll enjoy it!"  
  
"Nothing doing!"  
  
"Well, I'm not taking no for an answer!"  
  
Boromir lunged at Gimli. Gimli scrambled out of the way. The chase was on.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Gandalf sighed as he neared the clearing where he and the Fellowship were camped. It had been so nice to get away for a while, but he knew his duty was with the group. He only hoped they hadn't got into too much trouble without him there.  
  
He pushed a low hanging branch out of the way to be greeted by an astonishing sight. All the members of the Fellowship were madly kissing, save Gimli and Boromir, who appeared to be wrestling. He certainly hadn't been expecting this. It was incredibly dangerous from a tactical point of view. Some one could creep up on them and they'd never notice. Someone like him.  
  
"Oi! You lot!" Gandalf said loudly. "I see you didn't miss me!"  
  
The Wizard smiled to himself. The look on each member of the Fellowship's face was priceless.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* Elvish Phrases:  
  
Mellon nîn – My friend. Melethron-nîn –My lover. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~* 


End file.
